oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
