So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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