i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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