it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
