woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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