I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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