I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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