im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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