My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
