all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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