honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member