i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
