around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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