he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize