I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
