In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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