I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
