If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
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