Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
