I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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