don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize