Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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