So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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