I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
