afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
