Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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