HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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