You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
