I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
That accounts for only three of the penises
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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