Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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