Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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