hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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