remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
