lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he thought i was a dude.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
