Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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