I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
