my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
