i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
