This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
