Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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