You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize