I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
