we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
birth control should be required to get into college
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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