You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
