I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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