Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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