God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
