just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
