We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
