i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
honey bunches of taint.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just had sex on a roof
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize