I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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