Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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