just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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