i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
