Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Randomize
