I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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