you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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