You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
