Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Less talking, more tequila
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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